Tiger by the tail

Circumstances and questions swirling around Tiger Woods and possible cocaine addiction persist as he stalls police again (to allow for Detox Tea to clear his system ?) after an early morning accident leaving his driveway hitting a fire hydrant and crashing into a tree and needing to be pulled from his vehicle by his wife who broke into his car with a golf club. Golf clubs seem to be the tool of choice in the family as Tiger has been using them to throw into crowds when he misses a shot missing fans by inches while easing his anger and tension.

Probably the most private of billionaires, his uptight demeanor is classic teeth gritting uberstress probably nurtured in his youth by a father who pushed him relentlessly from the age of 3 to be the golf champion his father never was. In recent years Tiger has been rumored strongly of adultery toward his wife and two children. This most recent incident happened in the early morning shortly after 2 AM. Stay tuned for further details as another larger than life figure returns to Earth.

update: marriage infidelity was the cause of the dust-up and this will probably turn out to be the most expensive piece Tiger ever bought...ah the life of the petty bourgeoisie of Stanford University. They really need an ethics course at Stanford.

update 2 (12/8/09): Turns out the Tiger drugs were Ambien and Vicodin, --The Republican speedball. The number of b-girls for the Tiger is presently at 10 with his childhood buddy Byron Bell doing the pimping and watching out while Tiger pumps. Just like a couple o' TKE frats at a pig party. Yuck ! I see both of them running around in tighty-whities and the gag response becomes uncontrollable...Byron is getting married on Saturday??...That ought to be a very interesting exchange of vows...I hope his new wifey-mate has a sense of dramatic ceremony and humour. Maybe she will do the right thing and refuse to tie the knot with a pimp.

update 3: Mother in law taken away in ambulance with stomach pains. On the night of the accident Tiger admitted with a drug OD to the hospital under a phony name. This is far from over...

more at TMZ.com

update 4: ...it's up to 11 now...I think Tiger has a good case for The Betty Ford Clinic...Vicodin is narcotic and depresses function including blood pressure and is used for reducing pain awareness...accompanied with blood pressure reduction -erectile dysfunction ... Advair raises blood pressure to compensate and a battle ensues between an upper and a downer...the John Belushi OD was of a similar dynamic except he was combining cocaine and heroin. Tiger should have been made aware of these dangers by his Big Pharma medical team just as Michael Jackson should have been made aware by Dr. Feelgood....

Healthcare? The less invasive procedures of integrative medicine might have produced less toxic interactions and not brought the demise of these stars. How would Dr Weil have counseled either man?

Tiger's transits at the time of the incident 2:25am Friday 27th ...

MERCURY NEPTUNE CUPIDO Professional breach of promise (also of marriage). Infidelity in married life. Thinking about the division of a community, desiring to leave it. Thoughts of sorrow and sadness about the break-up of the family or about a shortage of housing. Mutual plans are not accomplished. Artistic, fairy tale fiction. Unfortunate thoughts of marriage. Society swindle. Marriage swindler.

MARS NEPTUNE CUPIDO Destruction of family happiness. Dissolved community. A grave misunderstanding in the society. Accident. Divorce. Dissolved artistic ties. Marriage intentions have faded away. Impotence or infection of the husband. Quarrels in housing matters.